Don’t follow Pat.
It’s a dilemma that my friends and family have faced over the years. On the one hand, many have enjoyed outings and adventures that I’ve planned, from paddling local rivers, to mountain biking on trails in the and skiing in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They’ve been more than happy to follow me.
On the other hand, some have followed while I was doing something risky, like skiing into a half-pipe, roller blading around a tight corner, or speeding down a mountain bike trail. For a few people, it did not end well. And the list of people injured while following me has grown over time.
The saying “Don’t Follow Pat” was first coined about 20 years ago, when a good friend made a bunch of t-shirts that said “Don’t Follow Pat” on the front, and “Consider the Penalty for Failure, Dude” on the back. He gave them to all my friends, and made two different t-shirts for me. One said, “I’m Pat,” and the other said “Don’t Follow Me.”
Then about a decade ago, another friend had bike jerseys made that also said “Don’t Follow Pat,” and went further to list the names and injuries of all “those who followed and suffered the consequences.” During our annual “Midwest Epic” mountain bike ride, one day is “jersey day” when we all wear that jersey.
Those who followed, and suffered the consequences:
- Andy–Broken hip and ribs / AC separation
- Cindy & Kate–Mangled knees
- Frank–Broken ankle
- Tom–Broken ribs
- Scott–Broken leg
- Mateusz–Broken back
- Monty–Broken wrist
- Joe–Skinned knee
- Jim–Fell into poison ivy
- Bob–Broken spirit
- Jon–Tipped over
For this blog, I’ve written stories about many of these misadventures. Some might call these stories historical fiction, as the details may have changed over the years. For those who were present during these adventures, I’m happy to hear your version of the story. It should be noted that all ended well, even though they did not go as planned.
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